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Moving
"Like all stressful times, moving can mean a time of special family closeness when family members learn to trust one another, help one another and comfort one another. Often that’s when people and families grow the most – through times that are hard, as well as times that are good."
-- Fred Rogers
Insights Into Childhood: Helping Children With Moving
FamilyCares: Se Muda de Casa
Introduction

Moving can be hard, especially for young children. Their home and the things around them are part of them – not just where they live. When families move, children can feel like part of them is gone. They have to say goodbye to people and places they know and love. In their new home, they may cry a lot and be clingy. Sometimes it takes a long while for the new place to feel like home.

And moving is stressful for adults. There is so much to do – before, during, and after the move. Adults can have lots of feelings about the move, too.

There are happy things and sad things about moving. When you help your child know it is ok to be sad about some things, your child may find other things to be happy about. Like many things in life, moving is an adventure – full of lots of feelings.

Helpful Hints: Moving

Help your child get ready for the move.

Help your child understand what will happen.

  • Talk about what things will go to the new home and what things will not go.
  • Tell your child about how you will carefully pack things in boxes.
  • Talk about what will happen on moving day.
  • If you can, visit the new place with your child or show pictures. Talk about where the furniture will go.
  • Take a walk around the new neighborhood.
  • Read children’s books about moving. Talk about the pictures in the books and how they think those people in the pictures might feel.

Help your child feel part of the move.

Let your child pack a box or bag of special toys or clothes. Take that box with you. Then your child can be really sure those things will not be left behind.

Let your child decide some things for his or her new bedroom:

  • where to put the bed or bookshelves;
  • where toys will go;
  • what color to paint the bedroom.

Give your child easy things to unpack and put away. Children like to feel important and helpful.

Find time for fun and caring things.

When you are busy moving, it is hard to find time for fun with your child. Here are some easy and fun ideas:

  • have a picnic on a blanket in an empty room;
  • pack a meal in a lunch box;
  • make a cozy corner with a blanket or sleeping bag for rest time.

Remember to give your child hugs and say, “I love you.” Your child may feel everything has changed. It can give your child a good feeling to know your love has not changed.

Children can have lots of feelings about moving.

Some parents do not want to talk about the sad things of moving. But if you let your child know that it is ok to be sad about some things, your child may be able to find some happy things about moving.

Talking about feelings can be hard, but it helps.

  • Tell your child some of your mixed feelings about the move. Everyone in the family can have different feelings.
  • Children can be mad about all the changes. Help your child talk about what is hard about the move as well as what he or she might discover in the new neighborhood.

There are ways to help your child get used to the move.

It can help your child to play about moving, before and after. An empty box or a toy truck can be a pretend moving van.

  • When children play about moving, they practice what it feels like to move. Then some things about moving day will not be such a surprise.
  • When children play, they are in charge of what happens. Then they do not feel so helpless in their real life.

Some children like to stay in touch with old friends.

  • Help your child send drawings, write letters, or call on the phone.
  • Your child may want to look at photos of people, places, and things from your old neighborhood.

Help your child find children to play with in the new neighborhood. New friends can make a place feel like fun.

Everyone in the family will get used to the move in his or her own way. Some children like the adventure of a new home right from the start. For other children, it can take longer.


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